Sing To Me
by jowx97
Summary: Left by himself as the rest of the family go on a school trip, will Jasper find friendship or maybe more with intriguing new girl, Serena? Will they help each other through their burdens, and will they succumb to temptation? Gets better as it goes along
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hi there, I'm new to the Twilight fandom so please do let me know what's good and what's bad about this story; I can only make it good with your help. Anyway, this story is set at one of the old schools that the Cullens attended, and primarily focusses on Jasper, my favourite vampire, and his misadventures when the gang are away. It is a completely made-up story and is pretty AU but obviously the majority of characters etc. don't belong to me. With the exception of the ones who are my own creation, but you'll know who they are. I'm rambling. Sorry. But thanks for reading!**

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"So just because I decided not to take geography this time around you guys are all going on some stupid trip without me?"

Emmett sighed. "Jasper, the write-up of the trip is gonna be worth like 25% of our end of year geography grades. We have to go."

"You don't _have_ to do anything. We can all take geography at some other school some other time! Fail the course for once; you can pass with flying colours next time." No-one seemed to be giving in to my pleas, all of them avoiding my gaze. I looked to my lovely Alice, my eyes as wide and hopeful as I could make them – I decided manipulating everyone's emotions in favour of me might be a little unfair. To my frustration she looked away, eyes fixed on the grey linoleum floor of the cafeteria. "Alice, please?" I asked, forcing her to meet my gaze, albeit unhappily.

"Honey, it'll look too suspicious if we don't go. It's just a couple of days--"

"Two weeks," I snapped, impatiently, shredding a paper napkin I had just discovered on the table. "You will all be gone for two weeks."

"Look, Jasper, I think you're being a little--", Edward attempted to break the ice.

"You don't understand! What if I…_do _something?" I whispered in a voice so hoarse I could barely believe it was my own.

"Carlisle and Esme will be around to make sure you don't do anything stupid," stated Edward, more confidently than he felt, ever the voice of reason.

"Sweetheart, you're past all that now – we trust you", Alice whispered in soothing tones, her delicate hands running comfortingly through my hair. "You can control yourself, I know you can." I felt no doubt in her and thus concluded that she really believed in me; it was a nice feeling.

"Dude – you don't even have to come into school. Just kick back at home while we're gone, I bet they won't care."

"No!" Alice frowned, and for some reason I could feel panic coming from her. "I think it's for the best that Jasper tries to get through this; he'll come out stronger on the other side." Ah, so was this whole thing going to be another one of her tests? Had she known from the beginning of the semester that the geography course would entail a trip, forcing me to remain alone for some time?

I looked at her curiously, but said nothing. If this _was_ a test then they still didn't trust me, and what she had said with such sincerity mere minutes ago was all a lie. But I love Alice and, as such, decided I would go through with it - for her. At the end of the two weeks when I hadn't so much as touched a human, then the family would finally be able to accept me fully. And Alice must have foreseen that nothing would happen in her absence, otherwise there was no way that she would just leave me like this. Maybe it would do me some good – desensitize me better to the aroma of human blood. Anyway, their trip wasn't until after mid-term break which gave me plenty of time to prepare. What was so tough about going solo for a while as a freshly-turned vegetarian vampire in a building full of young adolescents who were full of emotion and fresh blood? Oh. Well, I trusted Alice's judgement enough to concede. "Fine", I said, coolly, my lips turning upwards slightly to Alice's relief. "Enjoy learning about the wonders of the great lakes."

Edward stared at me for a while, his emotions unreadable, but if he'd been listening to my thoughts he chose not to comment.

Almost immediately the bell rang and the room was filled with the painful sound of chairs scraping against the floor. We got up and went to our lessons, no doubt each of us lost in the prospect of those two weeks where our family's safety would almost entirely depend on me. Oh God, maybe this wasn't such a--

"It'll be fine", smiled Edward reassuringly, slapping me on the back. "We all know it will be, you just need to realise it yourself."

"Easier said than done", I muttered, and walked off in the direction of my history classroom, preparing myself for another lesson where I would have to pretend I didn't know all the details of America during the war. If I was a human, I think I would perhaps have used this lesson to sleep in. As it was, I breathed deeply and tried to focus my mind on not thinking of the scent of blood on the air; someone had just had a paper cut. I clenched my desk and shut my eyes, willing myself to stay under control. My lips began to twitch and I have no doubt as to the colour of my eyes. Luckily for me the boy went to the nurse's office. This was going to take some practise.


	2. Veiled In Grey

**A/N: My knowledge of American high schools comes solely from books/films/television, so please correct me if terminology etc. is wrong. Thanks for reading! **

**'Veiled In Grey' is a Mystery Jets song about sad things that people try to avoid talking about - **

_You were a girl, you weren't sure  
You cared for your family anymore  
Looked for the mother you had before  
And it shook them all to the core  
And it's just the kind of thing that you don't talk about anymore_.

* * *

**Serena's POV**

It's never easy moving somewhere new, especially when it's half way through the school semester. It's even more upsetting when your dad's just died, leaving your destiny in the hand's of the army. Luckily, as dad was a pretty high-ranking officer, they offered me and my mom decent housing while we tried to get settled into our new lives. It's not like I'm not used to all of this in a way – we were always on the move before, as dad was always getting transferred to somewhere new and exciting. But this was different, because dad wasn't here this time to tell me "it'll be fine", that I'd make plenty of new friends and love it here (wherever "here" may have been). And mom wasn't there either; not the same mom, anyway. Ever since dad left us she became this weird woman impersonating mom – she looked tired, paler than usual and she just couldn't seem to cope anymore; not that I blamed her of course. So without mom and without dad it was just me trying to convince myself that everything was going to be fine at this new school. We used my mid-term break to get settled into our new house and then planned to relax a little but unfortunately school seemed to come far too quickly. And so I prepared myself for my first day at Clearwood High School.

Stumbling out of bed I groaned, realizing I'd slept through my alarm and had half an hour to get ready and eat breakfast. I ran around the house frantically eating, brushing my teeth, washing my face, showering, getting dressed and doing my hair – I'm not much of a make-up person, dad always said I looked better without it. Fortunately the school isn't that far away but in my rush I asked if I could borrow mom's car. She agreed and so, after hastily kissing her goodbye and slinging my strangely light bag onto my shoulder, I got into the car and drove to the school that my mom and I had visited just two days previously.

The car park was full of unfamiliar laughing faces, generally pale and wrapped up in various woolen garments due to the icy surrounding temperature. Having parked I stayed in the car for a moment to brace myself. Each school I have attended has greeted new kids differently – some have been strangely enthusiastic and full-on, while others have taken next to no notice and brushed past me like I've always been there. I'm never sure which I prefer. Clearwood seemed to be a mix of both, and while some kids didn't even glance at me as I opened the car door, others walked up to me grinning – I figured they'd been asked to be friendly by the principal. I took a deep breath – this was it.

"Hi – my name's Serena." I smiled and raised my eyebrows in a gesture of acknowledgement. "I'm guessing you realize I'm new here."

A slightly plump, blonde girl, a petite Asian girl and two very tall guys – one with longish brown hair, the other with an auburn afro smiled back at me. The blonde girl, who appeared to be the leader of the group, took a step forward. "Nice to meet you, Serena. Welcome to Clearwood High!" She looked pointedly at the others who all murmured their "welcome"s still grinning sheepishly. The girl rolled her eyes – "Well done, guys – outstanding greeting skills there." She then addressed me again. "I'm Michelle, and these idiots and myself have been asked to make sure you get around okay as we're all in at least one class with you." So I was right.

The other girl then piped up – "I'm Carrie."

"Pleasure to meet you", I nodded, still smiling, and then turned quizzically to the two boys.

"Owen", said the auburn-haired one with a goofy grin, raising his right hand in greeting.

Before I could respond, the attractive brunette guy had put out a hand and looked right into my eyes with his own chocolate pair. "I'm Julian", he said, in a smooth, deep voice, somehow causing my heart to leap. I took his hand and held it for what seemed an inordinate amount of time, getting lost in those beautiful, dreamy eyes—

"Uh…guys?" Michelle and the others were looking at us incredulously.

Embarrassed we both laughed and let go of each other's hand, both of us now looking anywhere except at each other.

Michelle still looked suspicious but she continued as though nothing had happened. "Okay, Serena – we've got to go to our separate classes now to check attendance. You're in Owen's class so he'll show you where to go, then after that you've got music with Julian and Carrie – one of them will come and meet you. I'll see you later in chemistry and we'll all see you at lunch. Is all this fitting with the timetable they gave you the other day?"

I pulled the already crumpled paper from my jeans pocket and scanned it. "Yup – that's all fine. So I guess I'll see you all later then?" They nodded, and Owen dragged me off in the direction of our classroom.

"Our teacher's called Mrs. McShane – she's nice but she's a little crazy. She teaches Physics so I'm guessing you won't see her outside of attendance, but if you ever have any problems and need someone with authority to talk to she's the one to go to."

"Got it", I nodded as we entered a depressingly grey classroom, the dull light from outside not helping to brighten up the steely room. Owen glanced round and pointed out an empty table with two seats.

"Normally there are a lot more people but there's a geography trip so loads of people in our grade and the year below are away" he said as he sat down, explaining the reason for only a few of the desks being occupied. He introduced me as "Serena the new girl" to everyone who was there and I got a bunch of polite smiles and greetings. Then a woman dressed in a floaty skirt and a thick, bobbly jumper entered the room; Mrs. McShane.

I stood up. She surveyed me for a moment before speaking. "So you must be the new girl; good to meet you." She strode up to me and put out a hand, which I shook, causing her to chuckle. "You have a very flimsy handshake – you'll have to work on that. Serena, right?"

"That's right. Nice to meet--"

"Yes, yes – that's all well and good. But do you have everything you need; your timetable, someone to help you get around, hard drugs?"

"…Excuse me?"

"Ah! No, just testing you. Good. Well, no, I mean, obviously drugs aren't good. They're bad so it's good that you look so shocked."

Everyone was laughing so I figured I ought to as well.

"Laughing, eh? Well drugs aren't a laughing matter, kids. Anyway, did everyone have a good break?"

"Yes, Mrs. McShane", everyone chorused childishly.

"Hmm. Well, you want to hear about _my_ break? I'll tell you--", she observed that I was still stood. "Sit down already! Go on – scoot!"

I hurried back into my place next to Owen, who was chuckling. As Mrs. McShane embarked on the tale of her doomed holiday – thanks, of course, to her husband's ineptitude - Owen produced a chocolate bar from his pocket. "You want some?"

I really didn't feel like chocolate at this time in the morning, besides which I hadn't been eating properly since dad. _Dad_. I was sitting here acting like everything was normal, while dad was rotting underground. I stared at the chocolate, imagining the oversweet, gooey solid sliding down my throat. "I think I'm gonna be sick", I said; hand over my mouth and my stomach involuntarily convulsing. There were hot tears streaming down my face, whether from embarrassment or sadness I'm unsure. I got up and ran towards the door.

Mrs. McShane asked, gently, "Do you know where the nurse's office is?"

I nodded, hand still over my mouth, and began to run out of the classroom down the corridor, but not before I heard Mrs. McShane say, "Everyone, her father recently passed away and I'd appreciate it if you were sensitive around her. Owen, what exactly did you say to her?"

"All I did was ask her if she wanted some chocolate!"

In other circumstances I would have laughed, and I made a mental note to explain myself and apologise to Owen. But first I needed somewhere I could go to vomit, and so I ran down the corridor towards the nurse's office, not noticing the attractive blonde guy (and he _was_ attractive, because I'm not normally into blondes) who I was about to collide into.


	3. Let Go

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, I will try to update as frequently as is possible. For now, enjoy, and feel free let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**

**'Let Go' by Frou Frou - **

_So, let go, let go  
Jump in  
Oh well, what you waiting for?  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

**

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**Serena POV**

After my bizarre encounter with the blonde guy I finally managed to get to the nurse's office. Thankfully I didn't actually throw-up, and after sitting down and breathing deeply into a paper bag for a while I was more or less better again. The bell rang and after thanking the nurse and assuring her I would be fine, I opened the door and jumped to find a worried-looking Julian stood in front of me, apparently about to knock on the door.

"Oh, well that saves me an awkward conversation with the nurse." He allowed himself to smile slightly, though there was still worry evident in his big brown eyes. He moved aside letting me walk out into the hall way where we both stood for a moment amongst the myriad of students unloading their lockers and gossiping, me feeling like a bit of an idiot. He observed my fairly embarrassed expression, and running one hand self-consciously through his beautiful, tousled hair he asked, "I'm guessing you're not a fan of chocolate?"

"Funny", I muttered, trying to look pissed off, failing miserably upon seeing the concerned look he was giving me.

"Seriously, is everything okay? Owen sent me a text saying you were sick and that I'd find you here and--"

I smiled – "I'm fine now, thank you. I just…needed to clear my head a little."

"Okay. Do you need something to drink, or eat? You sure you'll be alright for the walk down to music?"

"I think I'll manage, Julian", I said, already beginning to feel weary of the attention. I like it when people are nice, sure, but I wasn't sure how much Owen had told him so I couldn't know if this was the product of genuine affection or pity.

"Alright, but I'm warning you it's pretty far. If you need to lean on me or something then I won't blame you", he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes even though I was grinning. "Are you always such a gentleman?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, I'd offer to carry you but I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea"

I raised an eyebrow. "What idea would that be?"

"Nothing, forget I said anything."

"Come on, Jules - finish what you started!"

He looked amused. "Jules?"

"You don't like it?"

A smile played around his lips and he looked incredibly sexy as he stared pointedly into my eyes. "No, I love it. I'll have to think of something special to call you."

"Serena will be just fine, _Jules. _Anyway, what was your point?"

"Well, people might think we were going out or something. Though I guess…I guess that wouldn't be such a bad thing." He bit his lip looking a little mortified with his own forwardness.

I smiled shyly and didn't know what to say; it was my first day and I barely knew this guy. I considered just saying I wasn't interested even though it was a lie. I can be incredibly shy and uptight, and at my old schools I would always be the friend to the guys, too scared about what would happen if I just gave in. My dad always used to tell me I needed to let go sometimes - jump in and enjoy the ride. If things went wrong from that, there was something exciting about that in itself and I'd learn from my mistakes, he used to reason. I realised only after dad was gone that he was right, and that life was too short. "It wouldn't be bad at all." I felt my cheeks reddening and I focussed firmly on the ground. I took a breath. "But at present it's my first day, I barely know you, let alone the hoards of people who may or may not be judging me so perhaps it's for the best you don't…carry me round just yet." Who was I kidding?

"But you agree that there's carrying around potential? I mean, you'd be interested sometime?"

"Well if you mean the metaphorical idea where 'carrying' means us going out, then yeah. But literally speaking I'm not really sure you could carry me, Jules."

He turned to me eyes wide and full of mock upset. "You know, considering how ridiculously thin you are, I see that statement as an insult to my pride and therefore I must accept the challenge." He lunged forwards, attempting to keep the offended expression on his face, failing as he began laughing. I laughed too, half-heartedly attempting to escape from his grasp. Before he was able to grab me, however, somewhat irritatingly, Carrie, appearing from nowhere, intervened.

"Guys, we're gonna be late for music."

Julian looked confused and noticeably – much to my delight - agitated, sighing as he asked; "Carrie, I thought you were going to go the classroom to save all three of us a place?"

She smacked herself on the forehead in a way that seemed very contrived - I could have sworn that she'd "forgotten" on purpose. "Sorry, guys! I'm sure there'll be a place if we go now."

Sighing I began to follow Carrie, and then turned to notice that our male companion was lagging behind. "Hurry up already, Jules."

He grinned, and joined us, only to be met by a curious scowl from Carrie. "Jules?"

Julian chuckled throatily; "Yeah, it's the nickname Serena just came up with. What do you think?"

"Huh." Carrie looked bemused. "So we're all calling you that from now on? _Jules_. Hmm, I guess it is pretty neat."

Jules looked unabashed as he said, "Actually, I'd prefer if just Serena called me it. She came up with, it and I'd kind of like it to remain special to her – just for…just for us." He smiled at me sheepishly, and I felt a heat creeping up my cheeks.

"Fine, whatever." Carrie stalked ahead, and I couldn't help but notice Jules' eyes rolling, although I said nothing. If there was a story there I knew I'd find it out soon enough. We entered the brimming music classroom - it seemed not many musicians took geography - and, unsurprisingly, there were only two seats left next to each other, and one other seat next to my familiar friend from earlier; the striking blonde guy. Seated next to the open window, seemingly engrossed in whatever he was playing on the keyboard, his deep black eyes suddenly widened upon seeing me again. I wasn't sure how he'd noticed me so quickly considering he'd been so focussed on the keyboard just moments before. I smiled at him, and he furrowed his golden eyebrows at me looking confused and then, for some reason, covered both his mouth and nose with his pale hand.

Groaning, Jules began, "Look, you and Carrie sit together and I'll go sit with--"

"No!" I yelped, a little too suddenly judging by Carrie and Julian's surprised expressions. "You two sit together, I'll go sit over there; it's fine, really."

"Serena, you don't know what Jasper's like", began Carrie, "He's…weird."

"Jasper?" So that was his name. Why I felt so drawn to this guy who seemed almost repulsed by me I didn't know, but I knew I needed to sit next to him and try to find out. "I met Jasper this morning – he seems like an interesting guy. Besides, I really ought to get to know as many people as possible, right? It'll be fine, don't worry." And with that I made my way towards the empty seat next to the intriguing Jasper, ignoring the respective confusion and shock on Julian and Carrie's faces.

I sat down and, unperturbed by the fact that the stunning blonde boy now had his back to me, I spoke, "Hello again."


	4. Such A Charmer

**A/N: Just to say sorry for how long it takes me to upload a new chapter, hope you enjoy it anyway. Thanks for reading!**

**'Charmer' by Kings of Leon (N.B. I recommend that you listen to the chapter songs because they fit with the mood musically as well as lyrically) - **

_She's such a charmer, oh no.  
She's always looking at me.  
She's always looking at me.  
She's such a charmer, oh no.  
_

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**Jasper POV**

Why was she sitting next to me? This was painful. My insides were searing with longing and lust for her blood as if she was calling out to me. Each breath she took seemed to draw me closer to her, and I physically had to turn away. I didn't understand why this was happening – Alice and the others had helped me so much over the break. I had spent an absurd amount of time in the mall with Alice, and while she had tried on various outfits, I would try to become accustomed to the varying scents of blood. And it had worked, or so I'd thought.

However, when I stepped into school that morning – late, after saying a long goodbye to Alice and the others – I could immediately sense that something was wrong. In fact no, 'wrong' isn't the word; that would imply something bad. I could sense that something was…different.

The hall was completely empty as everybody was already in their attendance classrooms, and I used the opportunity to stand there taking a deep breath, telling myself this strange new feeling was natural. After all, it was my first real experience of being completely alone with these normal teenagers since going vegetarian. There was something strange going on though – amongst the normal mesh of lust, stress and hilarity that I associated with high school, was a genuine wave of pain and depression, which was getting stronger moment by moment. That was when I saw her running towards me.

I'd discovered my true soul mate in Alice and couldn't have been happier. Or, at least, that's what I thought. Sure, I'd found other girls attractive before, but none of them could hold a torch to my Alice. In that moment, however, as I saw this girl running towards me, all thoughts of Alice disappeared from my mind. This girl was beautiful, no doubt about it; porcelain skin, long, wavy dark hair and strangely large, bright green eyes, complemented by her alluringly long eyelashes. She was tall and thin, yet somehow more awkward than a supermodel-type figure. I have craved the blood of beautiful girls before, but this was more than a simple craving. I _needed_ to sink my teeth into her; I needed to make her mine.

Of course, what I actually _needed_ to do was get away from her before anything happened, but it was too late – her eyes widened as she bumped into me. The waves of depression, lust, shock and embarrassment rolled off her and, coupled with her electric touch and devouring scent, it overwhelmed me. I fell to my knees, a growl escaping from my mouth. I covered my mouth, horrified – "I'm so sorry", I whispered, hoarsely. I realized I was shaking.

She looked down at me, a hint of amusement in her somewhat queasy face, but I looked away, trying my hardest not to breathe in that sweet scent. Thankfully, it seemed she was running with purpose, as she gave me one more curious glance and then sped off towards the nurse's office.

I remained on the floor for a moment longer, eyes closed, breathing deeply and then realized I had better get to attendance. I hurriedly explained to Mr. Frank that I'd been delayed by the departure of my family and he seemed to accept it, asking no further questions. Then the bell rang and, slinging my backpack over my shoulders, I made my way down to music, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the now bustling hall.

And there again, as I tried to concentrate on playing various pieces on the keyboard, I sensed her presence. Despite being sat by the open window, her sweet aroma filled my nostrils making the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I looked up; she was smiling at me, and I didn't know why. I did know that exposing myself to her tantalizing scent any longer would leave me uncontrollable and so I covered my mouth and nose, still gazing at her thoughtfully. She was accompanied by Carrie and Julian. I never really liked Carrie that much as she was always grumpy for no discernible reason, but I guess I felt a little sorry for her as she had a crush on Julian and he didn't return the feeling. They went out once, but Julian realized that he just wanted to be friends so he broke it off. Julian was a really nice guy though, without doubt. In other circumstances I think we would have been friends.

I listened to their conversation, my headphones not obstructing my strong hearing, and was amused to hear the words, "Serena, you don't know what Jasper's like; he's…weird", from the lovely Carrie. I turned back towards the window, breathing in the fresh air floating in and trying to ignore the persistent scent of the girl. Serena, Carrie had called her. I felt her approaching me, and knew she was about to sit down. There was a slight apprehension in her demeanor, but a burning curiosity.

"Hello again," she spoke in a melodious yet bemused tone. I turned to her, and tried to return her greeting, but nothing came out except for a small moan. Smooth, Jasper – so far I'd growled, moaned and said "I'm so sorry" to her – with lines like that it was surprising that she wasn't all over me. Clearly it had been a _long_ time since I had voluntarily spoken with someone outside of the Cullens.

I tried again. "I'm Jasper." It probably wasn't helping my case that as I spoke my hand was still in front of my mouth and nose, causing me to sound muffled, not to mention the fact that I was edging slightly away from her.

Thankfully before she could question my painfully awkward behavior, our teacher – Miss Phipps – entered, chirping in her sing-song voice, "Morning all, how are you? Ah – I see Rosalie has left us for her geography trip, but who's that in her place? You must be Serena?"

She nodded, not elaborating. I noted Julian was also gazing at her intently, feelings of curiosity, lust and tiny flickers of love and affection pouring out of him. So I wasn't the only one attracted to her – an added complication in itself, without mentioning the fact that his feelings only served to intensify mine.

Miss Phipps sighed and attempted to get some more out of her, "So what instrument do you play?"

I felt a flush of embarrassment as Serena spoke, "I don't play an instrument. Well, I can't play anything very well anyway."

"Uh-huh. So, um, Serena - if you don't mind my asking – for what reason have you decided to take music class?" You didn't have to be an empath to sense her agitation.

"Oh right!" She blushed slightly and her delicious rose lips parted. The heat of the blood rising to the curve of her cheeks made me want to floor her then and there. Instead, my nails grazed against the plastic of the table – hard - peeling out a surprisingly large chunk. Why was she having this affect on me? I hated her for doing this to me, yet there was something so titillating about it all – was it possible to love someone you didn't know, solely based on the sweet scent of their blood? I stared into her eyes, not once blinking, forcing a burst of confidence onto her. She looked back up to Miss Phipps and answered her question abruptly. "I'm a singer."

And in those three words suddenly everything made sense and, at the same time, everything got a whole lot more confusing.


	5. Catching Dreams From The Clouds

A/N: 'Running From Home' is a Bert Jansch song. On a separate note, I'm not sure how well this chapter came off what with the multiple points of view - feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!

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**Serena POV**

I couldn't understand why he seemed to hate me so much, but before I could dwell on Jasper's cold expression I was interrupted. The teacher, Miss Phipps, insisted that I should sing for the class, ignoring all my pleas that I'd really rather not. So I gave in; I stood, took a breath and said, "It's called 'Running from Home'". It was an old folk song my dad used to play me when I was little, and I figured no-one would know it. I began to sing.

"_Runnin' runnin' from home,__  
__Breakin' ties that you'd grown__  
__Catchin' dreams from the clouds_

_The city sounds burn your soul__  
__Turn your head to the cries__  
__Of loneliness in the night_

_Just like a fly when it's caught__  
__The spider soon takes it's prey__  
__Spins a dance round your heart_

_Give me your beauty and age__  
__A pleasure pleasing my mind__  
__Your heart will shatter and fall_

_Step on pavements so old__  
__Cast a glance at the young__  
__Girls a-making their way_

_The passing image of you__  
__Reflects a pain to my heart__  
__And disappears in a crowd_

_Runnin' runnin' from home__  
__Breakin' ties that you'd grown__  
__Catchin' dreams from the clouds"_

As I sang I saw that Jasper was frowning and looking at the floor. So he even hated my singing? The guy didn't even know me and he was being such an idiot – I mean I was new, some support would have been nice. When I finished there was a silence and then a somewhat hushed round of applause.

"That was beautiful", smiled Miss Phipps. Jules was looking somewhat dazed, but as he caught my eye he grinned. "Amazing", he mouthed, shaking his head slightly in what I could only guess to be disbelief.

Despite my stomach doing a little flip at Jules' behavior, this praise didn't matter that much to me because Jasper hadn't even bothered clapping. Then, suddenly, he looked up, smiled widely and clapped loudly. So now he was mocking me – what was wrong with him?

"Really fantastic", he said as I sat down next to him once more, anger boiling inside of me. His hand was tentatively covering his mouth, still.

"What is your _problem_?"

**Jasper POV**

A singer. A singer, a singer, a singer. _My_ singer. How was I supposed to cope with this without the others here with me? Could I hide this from Alice without hurting her? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Miss Phipps asked her to start singing. To have your target's blood sing out to you is one thing – one sickeningly tantalizing thing - but to have that same target actually begin the sing becomes close to unbearable.

She sang some obscure folk song, which I perhaps should have heard before what with my history, but sadly it meant nothing to me. However, it certainly meant something to her – I could practically have bathed in the emotions pouring out of her – and, as a result of this, the song became a lot more poignant to me.

Then there was her voice – it was almost rasping, yet somehow melodic, like she was on the brink of the ether. It was like a liquid in the way it poured from her; strong yet almost painfully fragile, instigating some longing in me to wrap my arms around her and kiss her soft rose lips. To overcome these urges I glared at the floor, trying desperately to focus on something else; anything else. The result was that as everyone began to applaud I had managed to mentally place myself far away, and it took me a moment to realize that the singing was over. To compensate for my delay I began to clap heartily, and noting that she seemed slightly aggravated I gave her a big, uplifting smile.

She sat down next to me again, fury swirling from her. Yes, I'm an empath, but that still didn't give me any insight into why she was so angry. I tried to console her, keeping my mouth covered still - just in case:"Really fantastic". Then, to add to my confusion, she hissed under her breath, "What is your _problem_?"

**Serena POV**

"What do you mean?" His voice had a discernible twang to it, though I couldn't work out why, and as he tilted his head to the side I took in just how strangely _black_ his eyes were. There was a playful twinkle in them and, despite myself, I found myself extremely attracted to him.

"I mean you've barely spoken to me, but one of the few things you've said has been a snide comment." I whispered hurriedly, before my anger could be subsided and replaced by sheer lust, "You can't seem to stand how I smell, or how I look, or anything about me. I mean, you were physically edging away from me earlier!"

He was about to start speaking, presumably to explain himself, when the teacher interrupted. "Ah, I'm glad to see you two are talking – I was a little bit apprehensive about setting this week's homework, but as you seem to be getting on... We're about to start studying Themes and Variations and so I thought it would be a nice introduction project to have pairs of you work on covering a song, and making a variation on it. We'll make a game of it – the other pairs will each have to try and work out what song your piece is a variation on. Is that alright?"

Jasper nodded at me to say that he was okay with it, and all my furious uncertainties about him were suddenly washed over with a wave of assurance – perhaps something to do with those glimmering black eyes which seemed to be looking right inside of me.

I smiled and nodded to Miss Phipps – "Yeah, that'd be fine."

Looking relieved, she continued, "I'm afraid as a singer-", I'm certain Jasper shuddered slightly as she said the word 'singer', "As a singer in this task you'll just have to sing the tune or hum, as actual lyrics would give the game away somewhat…Anyway, the performances are due for this lesson next week – you can spend homework time and the lesson on Thursday working on them some more."

Carrie, who had evidently been listening in, asked, "Can we get started now then, Miss?"

Chuckling somewhat malevolently Miss Phipps shook her head. "No; for the rest of the lesson we'll be doing a theory quiz." There was a unanimous groan as she began to hand out the complex looking papers. "There'll be absolute silence, of course." Another class groan. "Good luck everyone."

I sighed, annoyed at how close I had been to discovering the reason for Jasper's behavior. Deep in the pit of my stomach, meanwhile, butterflies were beginning to dance around at the prospect of _having_ to spend time with the mystifying blonde for this music project.

As the bell rang, I spent a little longer than necessary packing my bag – it shouldn't take long putting a pencil-case back, but I tried to drag it out, somewhat unsure of myself.

Jasper smiled at me as he zipped up his backpack; "We'll have to plan out when we're going to meet to do this homework. Perhaps you ought to come over to my home – it's awfully quiet as most of my family has gone on the geography trip."

"That…" - another wave of assurance flooded over me as his gaze met mine - "That would be great." I could feel my skin heating like I'd just dipped into a hot bath, and I was uncharacteristically giddy. "I guess I'll talk to you about it later – I'm gonna be late for my next class."

"What do you have now?"

"Ummm", I examined my crumpled timetable. "Chemistry."

His eyes were now gleaming more than ever and he seemed to breathing heavily; it was borderline creepy. "That's interesting, so do I. Listen, could you do me a favor and tell Mr. Salter I'm going to be a little late? I've just got to go and take care of something."

I laughed, nervously, hoping I came off like I was joking when I said, "Sounds a little foreboding – where are you going?"

He frowned slightly, and waved a hand round slightly absentmindedly as he said, "Uh, the nurse's office. I won't be long." And with that he nodded at me mysteriously as ever and walked out of the room.

I blinked in confusion, then turned to see that Jules and Carrie were waiting for me.

"You got Jasper to talk? I'm impressed", Carrie chuckled, looking slightly surprised.

"Mmm", I nodded in consent, somewhat distantly. "Either of you got chemistry next?"

They both shook their heads, Jules saying, "Nope, but I can take you to the lab if you want – it's on the way to my French class".

"You take French? You'll have to teach me sometime", I laughed.

"Mais bien sûr, Serena!" He beamed at me, gesturing in the direction of the chemistry lab.

"Why not? C'est le langue d'amour", muttered Carrie darkly, before storming off in the other direction.

"Oh come _on_, Carrie!" Jules called out after her. He sighed, looking somewhat crestfallen. "I should probably explain about us."

I nodded in agreement, adding, "Though you should talk while we walk as we're going to be late."

"Fair enough," he said, turning and beginning to walk. "We've been in the same friend circle for a long time, and last summer we decided - well, Carrie thought - that we'd work better as more than friends. Only, we didn't. It felt weird, and wrong, you know? I didn't want to lose her as a friend so I said it was better that we forgot about the whole thing, but clearly she still hasn't. I thought I did the right thing, so I just... I don't know - I felt like I needed to tell you, incase you got the wrong idea. But now we've reached the chemistry lab, so I guess that's it. I'll see you at lunch - bonne chance!"

As he walked away I thought how strange it was that you couldn't control who you were and weren't attracted to; Carrie was still trying to get over Jules while Jules appeared to be getting into me. That was the kind of thing I would normally only dream about. Meanwhile the idea of Jasper ever liking me seemed like an all too optimistic dream too, but I couldn't help thinking that it was a dream I wanted to pursue. A dream to catch hold of and not let go. Or was that dream - that guy - supposed to be Jules?


	6. We Get On

**A/N: Thanks for putting up with my infrequent updates, hope you enjoy this. As always constructive criticism would be appreciated! Oh, and for anyone easily offended there is a swear word in this. Thank you for reading!**

**'****We Get On' by Kate Nash**

_I was wearing this dress  
Because I wanted to impress  
But I wasn't sure if I looked my best  
'Cause I was so nervous  
But I carried on regardless  
Strutting through each room  
Trying to find you_

_And when I saw you  
Kissing that girl  
My heart it shattered  
And my eyes, they watered  
And when I tried to speak I stuttered_

* * *

**Serena POV**

Thanking Michelle's mom for the lift, we stepped out of the car and waited for Michelle's guidance on what to do next. It was my first Friday night since I'd joined Clearwood High and we were going to Owen's house party, after which we were sleeping over at Carrie's place. We had all gotten ready at Michelle's, and while she was sporting black jeans and a turquoise, chiffon blouse, Carrie and I had opted for dresses – Carrie's a pink dress with a puff-ball black skirt, like some sort of demented ballet dancer, while mine was a short, champagne-coloured number dotted with pale sequins. I maintained the dress looked like a sack on me, due to my lack of any kind of figure but everything else I owned seemed over the top or underdressed. Of course there was an underlying motive to dressing-up like this, and it went by the name of Jules, who, in that past week, I'd discovered to be not only devastatingly attractive, but witty, friendly and all-around lovely. I mean, I'd even let Michelle do my hair and make-up for the night, not that I let her know why. I'm fairly certain Carrie had guessed though, as she had been kind of stern with me all evening, and as soon as Michelle's mom had driven off she stalked into the already crowded house without saying a word to either of us.

"Ignore her", Michelle advised, dragging me towards the house. The door opened, but it wasn't Owen who greeted us – rather, some guy I recognized from my chemistry class who was running out into the garden to vomit. Trying to pretend I couldn't hear him retching I moved into the mass of people, taking in the booming music and the heavy aroma of alcohol, perfume, sweat and what I guessed were illegal substances. Michelle motioned to me, indicating she was going to get a drink, leaving me by myself. My stomach lurched at the idea of meeting Jules, but I couldn't see him anywhere near by. I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders and began to stride towards the next room.

"Serena!" An arm was around me, and all I could see was a fuzzy auburn afro; Owen. "I'm so happy you came!" His voice was already somewhat slurred.

"I'm happy to be here, Owen!" I replied, grinning inanely.

"Good, good", he grinned, widely. "Say, listen, umm; Julian is sat around somewhere by himself not enjoying the party. Seems bored; can you believe that? Rude bastard. But I love him anyway. Anyway, he won't admit it, but I think he's bored because he's been waiting for you to get here."

"Oh, wow." I tried to mask my excitement with a cool demeanor, not that I needed to around this extremely inebriated Owen.

"I know, right? I've never seen him like this about a girl. You should totally go out. Do you like him?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I really do." I was suddenly very aware that I was probably blushing.

Owen gave me a knowing grin. "Hell yeah you do! What are you wasting time talking to me for? Go find him! Now if you'll excuse me, having imparted my wisdom, I'm going to find another drink. Have a great party." He winked at me, only serving to increase my blush.

I looked into each room, stumbling in on some very awkward situations and hoping I'd be able to mentally erase some of the things I'd seen that night. I paused outside of a shut door, and could just about discern voices from within – one of them was definitely Jules. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and then opened the door.

Jules was in there, but he wasn't alone. Well, obviously he wasn't – I'd heard conversation, not just one voice. But Jules wasn't having a conversation anymore, judging by the fact that a girl dressed almost like a ballerina had her hands on his face, pulling him into very passionate kiss.

"Oh, wow", I spoke, hardly noticing that I'd used these words earlier in a very different context. I blinked, trying to pretend I couldn't feel my face getting hot, and the ache you get in your head just before you start crying.

Jules broke away, at the same time pushing Carrie away "Serena, it's not--"

I didn't want him to see me crying. I especially didn't want her to see me crying. Instead, I walked out, slamming the door behind me, and then headed towards the front door.

**Jules POV**

I'd been waiting for about an hour by then. I'd gotten to Owen's early; helped him set up and whatever, then went for a quick shower to make sure I looked okay. Owen had spent the time after this shaking his head at me reproachfully, mainly because I refused to admit that this – as he deemed it, "unnecessary" – grooming was for the benefit of Serena.

I had a drink with him, but not more than one as I actually wanted to remember the evening. The house started getting pretty crowded, but I wasn't that motivated to go socializing with people; regardless of what I'd said to Owen, I was enthusiastic about this party because it was the first time I'd be able to see Serena out of school; just us two, if she wanted.

I figured I'd go looking for her in about five minutes, which is when Michelle had told me they'd be getting there, but until then I sat there wondering how the evening would turn out, using a mental pep-talk to convince myself that things wouldn't go wrong and that she'd like me back.

"Julian", spoke a gentle female voice. I looked up; Carrie.

"Hey", I smiled at her as she walked towards me; partly out of happiness to see her, partly because I knew that Serena must be here. In fact, I barely noticed that she closed the door behind her I was so pleased to see her.

"What are you doing here, sat by yourself?" She queried, smiling demurely.

"Just figured I'd have some alone time before the party got going", I explained, getting up as I spoke. "But now you guys are here I guess I'd better get socializing--"

"You don't have to go so soon", she spoke, pouting as she met me where I stood. "Julian, I know it didn't work out before, but I really like you and I really think we could work together if we gave it another shot."

I gritted my teeth, my mouth dropping slightly open as I sighed and shook my head. "Carrie, you know that as a friend I love you, but it's nothing more than that." I gave her what I hoped was a reasoning smile. "Can't we just forget all of this, and go back to how it was?" I wanted to get out of there as soon as was possible and find Serena.

She nodded, as though accepting what I'd said. "If you let me kiss you, I know you'd realize that this was meant to happen."

"Wait, what?!" But it was too late; forcefully, she grabbed my face and pulled me down towards her, locking me in a strong kiss which I refused to let myself reciprocate. Then Serena walked in, looking amazingly beautiful, but extremely hurt and I knew everything was ruined.

**Serena POV**

I sat on the step outside the house, out of tears to cry, instead cursing everything about this new place; about my new life. Of course Jules didn't like me; I had deluded myself when it was Carrie he had been interested in all along. I wondered if he'd been using me to make her feel jealous, and suddenly felt a little bit nauseous. And now I had nowhere to go – there was no way I could go back to Carrie's, and I didn't want to worry mom by turning up unannounced in the middle of the night.

It seemed I had an answer to my problems, however, when a familiar car stopped just off the sidewalk in front of Owen's house. It was Jasper's car, which I recognized from Tuesday night when I'd gone over to his house to get on with our music composition. Only, after speculation about the other night, I didn't really want to be anywhere near him.

It had been going great – we were getting on surprisingly well, and I'd basically forgotten about his weird behavior from earlier. He was a beautiful guitar player, but then when I started singing along something happened, and without explanation he gently touched the side of my face with his cold, cold hand. "You're so beautiful", he'd whispered. I had given him a curious look, shivered slightly – out of apprehension or the fact that his hand was like ice I'm not sure - and he had leant over to kiss me. I had turned away slightly, so he ended up kissing my cheek lightly, leaving a tingling feeling there. We didn't mention it for the rest of the evening, getting on with the project 'til I decided I had better get home and left, regretting my decision slightly but feeling giddy about future prospects with Jasper. It sounds awful, but after an evening with Jasper it was like Jules didn't even exist. Sure, I liked Jules but Jasper...I really _got on_ with Jasper; it was like he was this mysterious piece of a puzzle that fitted amazingly well into my life. That night I had IM'd Michelle, deciding I trusted her enough to talk about Jasper. However, her reply had been less than satisfactory – "Uh, Serena…Jasper has a girlfriend". As such I'd spent the last few days icily ignoring him, and I guess he'd worked out why as he wasn't persistent. I didn't sit with him in our history or chemistry classes – when he was actually in them, that is -, and in Thursday's music lesson I had let him get on with his guitar part while I went and chatted with Jules and some of the others.

So why was he here, driving past a party I was almost certain he wouldn't normally have attended? I figured an explanation from him was better than having to spend the night at Carrie's, and so I got in the back of the car.

He looked surprised. "I was about to get out and come find you inside the party to explain...well, my behavior."

I slammed the door behind me, and folded my arms as I settled into the less than comfortable backseat. "No need to explain. You have a girlfriend. End of explanation."

He sighed, closing his eyes as he wrung his hands through his golden hair. "It's not that simple. Look, you don't have to sit in the back. Come in the front, next to me?"

"I'd really rather not", I replied, coldly. Maybe that seemed harsh, but to lead me on as though he was single when in fact he had a long-term girlfriend who he _lived_ with?!

He sighed. "Well, why don't we go into the garden and talk?"

"I'm not going back to the vicinity of that party", I sulked, trying hard not to remember the image of Jules and Carrie.

"Oh. Right then." He looked curious; like he could tell I was fuming and upset inside despite my monotone mask. "Do you want a lift back to your place then? I guess I can talk to you on the way." He tried to meet my eyes through the rearview mirror, but I looked away.

"I don't wanna worry mom and make her think there's something wrong. She's got enough on her mind."

I felt slightly stricken, realizing this may lead to questions about just what she had on her mind, but if he was intrigued by that he was kind enough not to ask about it. Instead, retaining his kind, collected voice he asked, "Would you like to stay over at my place? My parents are at some sort of medical conference and won't be back until tomorrow night."

I groaned, trying to maintain my fury with him by reminding myself of his misleading actions, fully aware that the longer I spent with him the harder it would be to preserve this grudge. "Jasper, you have a girlfriend. Who..who you _live_ with. Can you just stop this?"

"Look, you can't stay on the street for the night – you don't need to look at this as anymore than it is; a friend offering a friend a place to stay when they need it."

"Fine, but it doesn't mean I have to talk to you." My cool attitude was beginning to thaw, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold up much longer unless I refused to speak to him.

He chuckled lightly. "Good, gives me more time to talk". That sounds like a pretty normal line for someone who wants to explain themselves. I mean, when someone starts with a line like that, you don't realize it's going to be one of the most surreal conversations of your life.


	7. To Be Alone With You

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long and it's not even that great. Enjoy if you can, and let me know what you think please! More frequent updates in a bit when my exams are finally over. There's a bit of swearing in this, but once again nothing too strong. Thanks for reading, please review!**

**'To Be Alone With You' is a song by Sufjan Stevens about the sacrifices we make to spend time with that special person:**

_I'd swim across lake Michigan  
I'd sell my shoes  
I'd give my body to be back again  
In the rest of the room_

To be alone with you

_You gave your body to the lonely  
They took your clothes  
You gave up a wife and a family  
You gave your goals_

To be alone with me

* * *

**Jasper POV**

She was in the back of my car, and I was driving her back to my house for the night. This was the true test of my inner-strength then, and I couldn't help but wonder if Alice had seen this coming. I had the front windows wound down so I could breathe in the outdoor air and try to ignore her scent, but I knew I would have to explain everything soon enough.

"I… like you", I began, trying my hardest to remain focused on the road and not her reaction. I could detect scorn but she was becoming a lot more accepting than she had been. "In fact no," I sighed. "I more than like you. And that's what makes this all so complicated." I glanced up at the mirror and noticed one of her eyebrows was raised slightly, and I couldn't help but smile at this endearing expression of curiosity.

She began to speak slowly. "You've known me for less than a week, and I've hardly spoken to you in that week. How can you possible 'more than like' me?" I tried to interrupt, but she sped up and spoke louder. "Besides which you have a girlfriend, lest you've failed to notice me bringing that little fact up several times. And I mean maybe it's not that serious with her – I don't know – but generally when you _live_ with your other half most people would _tend_ to call it serious."

"I thought you weren't talking?" I smirked slightly, trying to avoid answering her query.

She glared at me, although I could feel laughter bubbling underneath the surface of her stony, jealous outside. I was suddenly very aware that I was focusing more on her beautiful features than I was on the road, and pulled over, not wanting to impair her safety. I turned to her then.

"Have you ever been a long-term relationship? And I mean _long_, long-term." I realized I was coming strangely close to voicing a worry I'd had for a long time.

She scoffed, and I detected cynicism in her voice; "I'm in high school and I'm constantly on the move. So no. And any of my friends who were in '_long_ long-term' relationships ended up sick of each other."

I bit my bottom lip, suddenly very aware of myself and what I was saying. "Well then perhaps you'll understand the notion of loving so long that… the thrill leaves you. Alice and I--"

"Hold up, hold up, hold up. There is no way you and _Alice_ have surpassed the thrill of love already. I mean if you were happy enough to shack up together--"

"I think you've misunderstood that. She is, in a sense, part of my family – we lived together before our relationship began."

"You know what? For some reason that doesn't make this any better. So you got with your adopted sister. Fine. But it can't have been that long ago? You're speaking like you've been together forev--"

"Not forever." I rapped my fingers on the dashboard, unsure how to continue. "But I'd estimate 50 years, give or take. I can't exactly remember when it went from friendship to more." This was the easiest way to tell her.

I watched her eyes roll. "You're hilarious. But seriously--"

I sighed, interrupting. "No. Listen, I'm going to tell you something which you're not going to want to believe…"

"What?" She said, arms suddenly flailing wildly looking supremely pissed off, "You're secretly around 70? Jasper do you have any idea--?"

"I'm a vampire." I hadn't exactly meant to tell her like that, but it slipped out before I could control myself. She was the first ever human who I had told.

Her jaw dropped, before she regained her composure. "Oh, and by the way – I'm a werewolf."

Her sarcasm was lost on me and I was horror-struck for a moment. "You're not are you?"

She sighed, "No, Jasper. No, I'm not. I was making fun of you."

Oh. "Oh." Having never revealed this to anyone I wasn't entirely sure how I was meant to 'prove' that I wasn't lying. "I _am_ a vampire though", I tried, miserably.

"Oh God, you're not delusional are you? Typical," she began muttering to herself, "The guys I'm attracted to are either lying bastards or completely delusional."

"So you admit that you feel the same way despite only having known me for less than a week?" I grinned as I teased her. "Despite – what was it you said? – despite the fact that we've barely spoken in that time?"

"Surely the delusional boy who thinks he's a 70 year old vampire isn't mocking _me_?" There was a smile playing around her lips; it was beautiful, it was sexy, but I knew before I could act on the feelings drawing me to her I had to warn her of the dangers.

Suddenly it dawned on me, and I took her warm hand in my cold one as I climbed into the back of the car. She shivered slightly as her eyes widened – fixed on me- , although this may not have been entirely to do with the cold.

"How do my hands feel to you?" I asked, softly.

Her eyebrows creased slightly, "Cold. Too cold."

"And my eyes? What colour are my eyes?"

"They…" Curiosity passed over her countenance, "They change colour. I remember looking at you once and they were gold, but when you look at me they can sometimes be different. Sometimes…" She looked down at our intertwined hands before meeting my gaze once more, "They're black, like the night." Her breathing was becoming slightly shallow and the feel of her hands against mine was somewhere between beautiful and unbearable.

"And when I eat, what do you see me eat?" This was becoming a little 'big bad wolf', but it was the only way to make her see.

She frowned slightly. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat. You were playing around with an apple once in the cafeteria but I swear it didn't touch your lips."

"Because", I said, gently, "I'm a vampire. I do not eat food, rather – I feed on blood. Not human blood; not anymore. I live with a coven of 'vegetarian' vampires, so to speak. We only feed on animals."

"You mean--?" She began, slowly.

"Yes, Alice and the others are all vampires too. When… When I have fed my eyes are golden, when I am hungry or filled with bloodlust then my eyes become black." I felt slightly sheepish admitting all of this to her.

"But if that's the case, why do your eyes go black around me?" She spoke as though she already knew the answer.

"Did you honestly think I was disgusted by you the first few times we met? Your scent, it calls out to me, willing me to…" I couldn't finish that sentence, instead stating, simply, "You are my singer."

She smiled, dazedly as she attempted to correct me, "Possessive much? I'm _a_ singer, not _your_ singer."

Smiling back at her and absent-mindedly pushing a stray hair behind her ear, it was my turn to correct her, "No; a singer is the one person whose blood sings out to the vampire. It is not often vampires will find their singer, and now I've found you I'm…I'm struggling." I couldn't quite believe I was admitting this to her, admitting that me being around her was a danger to both of us. "The reason I covered my mouth, and tried to back away from you was because I feared that you would be my downfall; you would be the reason I disappointed my family by straying from our vegetarian way. But then, you sought me out too, and – not having anyone to advise me – I realized that perhaps you were my test. Can I be close to you without harming you?"

She withdrew her hands from mine, scanning my expression. I tried not to react to the sudden loss of the delightful warmth she offered. Tried not to feel sad that Alice's hands were icy cold like my own. Serena's emotions were varying wildly, as though she was in the midst of some deep internal struggle. "This vampire thing…You're being serious, aren't you?"

She finally understood.

"I must emphasize that I have no desire to harm you, just… an overwhelming urge to be with you." If I could have, I would have blushed at my blunt sentiments.

"Shit", she spoke, probably as articulately as she could manage in that moment. "So, I'm attracted to a vampire who's in love with the scent of my blood?" Her calm demeanor wasn't fooling me, and I took her hands once more as I sent out relaxing vibes.

Looking soothed, she closed her eyes – "How are you doing that? Do you have superpowers or something?"

I couldn't hold back my laughter at this; "I'm an empath; it means I can tell what everyone around me is feeling, and if I so choose to I can manipulate their emotions. I'm not exactly superman."

"You're not that dissimilar", she mused, opening her eyes in amusement. "A quiet, attractive guy who doesn't seem to get too involved with anything, but underneath there's all this crazy shit going on."

"Eloquently put", I grinned before getting back into the front of the car, explaining, "It's getting late - I should probably get us home. It's only about ten minutes now." I started the car, and for a moment a pensive silence filled the air before I noticed a growing curiosity emitting from Serena.

"You have a question?" I raised an eyebrow to Serena as I glanced back at her.

She piped up, smiling sheepishly at my observation, "I was just wondering; how exactly did you all become vampires?"

And so, for the remainder of the journey I recounted my tale as thoroughly as I could. It felt oddly relieving speaking so openly about it all to someone _normal_. She made a great audience too, her reactions never over-the-top yet somehow evidently attentive; I felt privileged to be able to share my story, as opposed to the normal cursed feelings that underpinned my existence. In less detail I informed her what had happened with the rest of the Cullens, and she remained just as fascinated by their stories; I couldn't help but notice her eyebrows furrowing and the growing tinge of jealousy as I hastily spoke of how Alice and I had found one another. Slowly I realized I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying anymore, my mind wandering away trying to figure out just what I was doing. Did Alice know this was happening; did she know what was inevitably going to happen that evening? I made a mental note to give her a call later on to try and talk through everything without revealing too much.

Surprisingly I'd managed to sustain Edward's Spanish Flu story despite my mind being elsewhere, and thankfully the thoughtful silence only fell again as I parked the car.

As I held open the door for her and she stepped out into the brisk night she looked up at me, her close proximity meaning I could feel her warm breath.

"So, if he'd met a vampire my dad could still be alive – like you?" She was trying to sound lighthearted, but I could feel the thud of depression escaping her.

I took her face in my hand, smiling sadly, "I'm hardly alive, Serena. This existence of mine – though eased by being surrounded by my loved ones – this existence is not life. Your father was lucky to be able to face the next challenge instead of being stuck in this…this frustrating limbo."

And then she kissed me. I can still remember it all so vividly; the cold air, the clear sky and the crescent-moon smiling down at us as her foreign warmth spread to me and I kissed her back in ways I had imagined since that first time I had seen her. As her mouth opened the taste of her blood was so close, hidden beneath the thin layer of her hot skin. So close.

I pulled away from her, taking a sharp intake of breath before I met her beautiful, emerald eyes. "Why aren't you scared? I could really hurt you."

She beamed as she looked up at the stars, before replying, "You could, but you won't. My life at the moment isn't exactly fantastic. Taking the risk of falling in love with a vampire who wants to suck my blood is probably the best thing I've got going for me. Besides, you've controlled yourself all this time; I think I can trust you." Her sweet lips met mine again, and I reveled in her taste, her exotic heat and the lustful, affectionate emotions pouring from her, mixing with my own similar feelings and enhancing them.

I pulled her towards the house, breaking away from her to quickly open the door, and then as we entered our mouths found each other once more. Moving up the stairs our lips remained fervently locked as I guided us to my bedroom.

"What about Alice?" she murmured into my lips, causing sensations to spread from my lips to the now upright hairs on the back of my neck.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and then kissed her again; "She'll understand." Whether I was trying to convince Serena or myself was unclear. To finally be alone with Serena, I didn't care either way.


	8. I'm Only Sleeping

**A/N: I'm fully aware that I'm awful at updates and that the few of you who are still reading this probably hate me. I'm really sorry, I've just been crazily busy. Not much happens in this chapter, so apologies on that account too - don't hurl too much abuse at me. If anyone is still reading and would be willing to help me out with the story if you could PM me that'd be great - you wouldn't be Beta'ing per se, I'd just be talking through some flow issues and asking for your opinion on some ideas. Thanks a lot, hope you enjoy this at any rate.**

**'I'm Only Sleeping', by The Beatles**

_When I wake up early in the morning,  
Lift my head, I'm still yawning  
When I'm in the middle of a dream  
Stay in bed, float up stream_

_Please don't wake me, no  
don't shake me  
Leave me where I am  
I'm only sleeping..._

_Please don't spoil my day  
I'm miles away  
And after all  
I'm only sleeping _

* * *

**Serena POV**

The worst part about sleeping is that eventually you have to wake up. Well, not when you first wake up exactly. When you first awake you have that hazy state about you where you happily recall the things you dreamt about the night before. Not that what I was recalling was a dream; no, I immersed myself into the beautiful happenings of the previous night, which for all it's glory, could well have been the stuff of dreams.

I can still remember it so vividly; that first time. It was our first time together, but – more importantly, or perhaps of equal importance – it was my first time, ever. And, aside from the fact it was with a guy who was already taken, it was probably the most perfect first time I could have asked for. His passionate eyes gazing into mine making me feel like some one-of-a-kind piece of beautiful art, his cold skin sending tingling sensations up my spine, deft nips at sensitive parts of my skin between his smooth, ivory teeth and the way he was gentle with me but not patronizingly so; it was as though we'd been together before and we knew how the other worked. We moved in tandem and it was like we were creating something bigger than either of us, something spiritual yet somehow tangible. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that it didn't feel like just sex. While I was still half-asleep, at least, it didn't seem like some tawdry affair where I was just the dirty bit on the side while his partner was away; no, that night we made love.

I could see it was a struggle for him. To be so close to me so suddenly yet to retain his self-control can't have been easy. And when he entered me for the first time and I bled his growl resounded in the air as he restrained himself, his eyes blazing into mine. "Look at me", he'd whispered, softly. "I want you to really look at me." Immediately the moment of unease and restraint left as though it had never been there, and we focused on how our bodies became one. In retrospect he may have used his empathic skills to ease away the tension and intensify the love and lust within us both, not that I'm complaining.

Obviously I realized being unfaithful to someone he loved so much was hard for him, but it was only when I woke up in the early hours that I took in the full extent of it. Like I said; it's all well and good when you're dreaming, but having to wake up is when it all stops being so fun. Vampires don't sleep, he'd told me afterwards as we lay in post-coital bliss. He was more than happy to lie there and watch me as I drifted off, but when I awoke – alone – it got me thinking. If vampires didn't need sleep, they didn't need beds. Unless the bed was solely used for more active purposes…involving his girlfriend, who might as well have been his wife. And then it really began to sink in. How could I possibly expect to be the one to share this bed with him when he was happily involved with another woman? Another vampire.

So then I stopped feeling so confident that we'd made love, and wondered if I wasn't that filthy "other woman" who meant nothing to him. I could easily have been fooled into thinking it was deeper and more romantic than it actually was – he could manipulate my vulnerable feelings and had so much more experience than I did. But in spite of this fleeting uncertainty, I wouldn't have changed my position – lying here in Jasper's bed was still better than being nothing to him. And surely, I kept insisting to myself, he wouldn't have manipulated me like that? He was too lovely for that. The only way I could convince myself was to go and talk to him, and so I got out from under the covers, and balanced myself, experiencing mild nausea when I got up. I slipped into my underwear, pulling on last night's dress which looked somehow depressing in the light of day. I padded into the bathroom, giving myself a long look in the mirror. My formerly made-up eyes were now somewhat smudged, giving me the appearance of a weirdly fragile panda. I tried my best to wash everything off, and then proceeded to look for Jasper.

Only, he wasn't anywhere to be found.

Of course he wasn't. How could he stand to be under the same roof as me? I shut my eyes for a moment. Standing alone in someone else's house with only the sound of my own breathing and the tick of the clock on the wall, I suddenly felt very lost. What was I doing here? I didn't belong here; Alice did. There was a weird buzzing noise that was somehow familiar in the midst of this unknown building. I realized someone was phoning me, and approached my cell phone which was vibrating against the bedside table. I'd assumed it would be my mom, worrying about where I was but I realized that it was only 8am, so she wouldn't be expecting me back for a couple hours. I didn't pick it up, as it was Jules. If he phoned again I'd answer, but I'd let this one go to voicemail and listen to what he had to say for himself.

Jules. If I hadn't walked in on him and Carrie, would I have ended up sleeping with Jasper? I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have ended up sleeping with Jules, no matter how well the night went – and I'd spoken to him, and fantasized about him far more than I had Jasper. If he'd been aiming to get with Carrie all along, why was he calling me? Maybe I'd misunderstood what was happening between them... Obviously Jasper had been coming to talk to me anyway though, so maybe I would have ended up with him regardless. Maybe he'd planned it all along. Maybe— it occurred to me that there were a lot of "maybes" and analyzing every possible outcome seemed pointless; I couldn't blame Jasper when it all burnt down to the fact that I was the one who got in his car when all he'd wanted to do was apologize to me. I was the one who let him take me back to his house, fully aware he was in a serious relationship. And, ultimately, I was the one who kissed him first.

The phone stopped buzzing, then after a minute buzzed twice, and a message popped up indicating I had voicemail. I sat on the bed and picked up the phone cautiously, as though afraid it was going to hurt me in some way, and then dialed the number for my voicemail.

A steely female voice informed me I had one new voicemail message, and then Jules' familiar voice began to speak:

"Hey, Serena. Um, this is Jules… I guess you already worked that out. I'm, uh, really awkward when it comes to leaving messages like this, but I understand that you probably don't want to talk to me right now. Or ever, maybe. Which makes perfect sense in the circumstances. Though not ever being able to talk to you again would break my heart a little, I guess if it's what you wanted then I'd be more than willing to oblige. I don't know – even though it's only been a week I already feel like I'd do anything for you." He paused for a second, scoffing in disdain at his words. "Sorry if that sounds really cheesy, but I'm being sincere. I just wanted to say that what you saw last night wasn't what it looked like, and I'm truly sorry if I hurt you because that's the last thing I would ever want to happen. The expression on your face last night killed me, and I hate myself for letting this happen. I…" He sighed, sounding weary. "I don't want to talk about this over the phone. If you're willing to talk to me then I'll be at Venice Café at four o'clock and I'll explain everything. If you don't come I'll understand though, and I'll leave you alone. I'm really sorry again, Serena. I hope you can forgive me."

The female voice then began to speak again, so I hung up, an ache intensifying in my head. It was suddenly very clear that Carrie had kissed Julian, not the other way around. I was ridiculously confused now – should I go to him and pretend nothing had happened the last night with Jasper? That was certainly the easier option, and the more sensible one – Jasper was taken, after all, and before that I had really liked Jules. But there was no reason to like him anymore because last night I'd given Jasper everything. Jules was lovely, but he didn't mean anywhere near as much to me. Jasper had my heart now, but the problem was I wasn't entirely sure he wanted it.

I felt ill now, wanted to vomit but realized I hadn't eaten in a long time. Maybe that was why the room was starting to spin. I shut my eyes as the floor welcomed me to its cold surface, and was at last blissfully unaware of my problems for at least a moment longer, once again swept up in the hazy world of dreams where confusing reality was miles away.


End file.
